Going to see Grumpy Old Women tomorrow and by coincidence I read a piece in the paper written by Judith Holder who I believe was the co-creator of the show.

She listed some of the questions you need to ask yourself to see if you rate as a GOW. Oddly enough it was one quiz where I did quite well - lots of ticks!

Here are some of the questions:

- Do you read the Lakeland catalogue and tick things you want, such as the banana guard, the gravy separator and sock drawer tidier?

I can go one better than this as I am the proud owner of a gravy seperator and sock drawer tidier - despite usually making bisto gravy which doesn't need much seperating and not owning that many socks. Would love a banana guard - but unfortunately can't stand bananas.

- Are your pants the largest on the washing line?

Well yes I do have a couple of pairs of slightly larger than fashionable knickers - for those days when you feel you need to be extra comfy (ok - Monday to Sunday)

- Are you inexplicably attracted by craft shops?

'Fraid so - bit of a family joke this one - if they want to keep me happy they will point me in the direction of a good craft show.

Some questions I didn't do so well on...

- Recently heard a Barry Manilow song I like - err no I don't think so.

- Have I bought myself a bird table - not yet but could be an idea for xmas (only joking Santa!)

But there was one question that confirmed me as a GOW big time -

- Your idea of a multiple orgasm is getting a full refund and an apology from the manager?

YES YES YES